12:03 a.m. 2005-01-29
i do miss the sunshine
no matter what happens in a day, at one point or another i wish that things were different for us. and there is this part of me that waits for things to get better (because the optimist in me tells me that things always do get better) but this other part gave up on the happy ending a long time ago.
i have a room filled with friends watching robin williams do fabulously funny things- but instead of hanging out with them i am sitting here. alone. the craziest thing is that i was the one who invited everyone over. it has been happening a lot recently, all that i want is to have people around me but then as soon as they are here i just want to be alone.
lately, all of my friends have broken up with their boyfriends in the hopes of finding happiness- and i sometimes i wonder if being single is what i need to make me happy with myself. but then i see how miserably lonely they seem and i find myself completely terrified to give up on being in love.
robbin williams is crazy- i can hear him through my walls... usually when i hear voices through the walls, my first instinct is to label myself as crazy.
january has flown by- before i know it i will be home for the summer. what on earth will i do in niles for three months??
i do miss the sunshine.
